thankful & hopeful.

I have never been the type of person to set new years resolutions. I have never been the type of person to take the time to look back at the year behind me or look forward to the year ahead of me. Honestly, new years has never held that great of an importance to me and I think I have always subconsciously looked at the new year as a continuation of the old with no endings or new beginnings. However, this year was different. As the start of 2019 began to get closer and closer, I really started to think about everything that occurred in this past year. Looking back at 2018 I can confidently say it was a year of growth. The most growth I have ever had.

Sitting in church, a few days before the new year, we were handed cards that said "thankful for" on one side and "hopeful for" on the other. We were told to fill these out and were given time during service to truly reflect on what the past year brought us and what we then hoped for in the coming year. I was stoked to have some time to really be present and think about these things. I filled out the card and then found myself journaling things that happened in the past year. The first few things I wrote down began with "I've"... and after noticing this I continued listing things I have/had done. This was the raw list I created.

I've been set free.

I've learned how to be bold.

I've danced in the freedom of Jesus Christ.

I've stepped away from comfort.

I've seen How much He cares and provides for me.

I've realized what happens when I truly put my trust in Him.

I've practiced accepting His timing.

I've defeated the devil again and again.

I've discovered what real community is.

I've become more disciplined in my quiet time.

I've fallen more in love with Jesus than ever before.

I've worked on saying "no" more (& will continue to do so).

I've seen what a childlike faith is.

I've found more & more what the Lord's purpose for my life is.

I've experienced what it means to have chains broken.

I've come to trust Him in ALL circumstances and own my boldness because of Him.

Sitting in church it was funny how quickly these phrases flooded my mind. I wrote them down without even lifting my pen and realized how incredible it was that now looking back and thinking about the past year, I was able to identify all these things. Based on failure, based on victory, based on learning, and based on experience. I can confidently say that the Lord undoubtedly used 2018 to stretch my faith to a capacity I didn't know I was capable of and use circumstance after circumstance to teach me new things and pull me out of the dull, tedious, "lukewarm Christian" life I had previously been living.

Another thing I began to think of as the year of 2018 came closer and closer to an end was what I wanted this upcoming year to look like. As I mentioned earlier, I have never been someone to sit down and be hopeful of what the year ahead could potentially bring, but this year I knew it was something I needed to do. I started praying about specific words, phrases, or ideas that I could claim and hold close to me, going into this new year.

On the last day of 2018, I was reading through some different verses when suddenly I felt Isaiah 40:31 stand out to me. This verse says "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint". As much as I don't want to admit this, I truly remember my first thought being "ew an eagle?!" I know its a majestic creature, but it wasn't necessarily my first choice of an animal I'd want to compare myself to. I thought nooo that's not what I want to "claim" as my "motto" for this new year. I continued reading, but found myself being drawn back to that verse again and again. Every time I read the verse, I felt a sense of peace as I read that "they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint". I think this stood out to me because I thought it almost sounded like a fantasy. It sure would be a cool thing to run and not become tired. That's when it really hit my heart. As I've shared on my blog many times before, slowing down, saying no, and finding my rest in Christ is something I have always struggled with. Yet here it was. Staring right back at me. This verse telling me I CAN indeed find rest in Him, He WILL surely renew my strength, and I DON'T have to ever feel weary or tired. Next thing you know I decided to look up the characteristics of an eagle and I was astonished. As I read them, I saw things I knew were personal weaknesses that I need to work on, characteristics I already see in myself, and qualities I noticed the Lord teaching me in this past year. I'm telling y'all I was in complete! shock! With every characteristic I continued to read, I would get more and more excited realizing how similar, we, as humans, are to these beautiful creatures. I have so much I want to share about all these things I discovered, but I've decided to save it for my next post because there are SO MANY GOOD THINGS I've already learned from this analogy & it's too much to even begin writing about here. I'll leave it at this though. We are the eagle, the wings of the eagle represent our faith and belief in God, and the wind thermals the eagles fly on represent the Holy Spirit. This may not make any sense whatsoever, but it's something to begin thinking about and I'll explain it a whole lot more in my next post.

The new year is still new and I encourage you, if you haven't yet, to pray and ask the Lord to reveal something to you whether it be a verse, word, analogy, idea, etc., that you can cling to and treasure going into the new year. Personally, this made me so much more excited than I have ever been to go into the new year. I know the Lord already has so much in store for me, whether it be things He wants to teach me or ways in which He hopes I grow. Bring it on 2019...I'm ready for ya!!!!!

xoxo,

b.